I am very thankful for my Beautiful Blessings that Love me unconditional each and every day! However, just as I am grateful to know that we brought them into this world, I am also depressed, at times, to know that my children have seen me suffering, crying, screaming uncontrollably, using profanity, and wheeled off into an ambulance several times because of Lupus (SLE)! I remember seeing my children run on my Mother, or next of kin, to question why was mommy leaving or having to be held to prevent them from running towards me! This is so hurtful to talk about but just as the pain in my heart is overwhelming, I always found a way to give them a hug, tell my children how much I love them, and Smile as I left them, not knowing if it was the last time or not! It hurts so much to know that my situation is considered “NORMAL” for my children! No child should have to see their parent in so much pain, especially at the age of two and three! In addition to that, if I am dealing with any type of pain that I make any physical notion of and my children see an ambulance, they assume that the ambulance is for me! We could even be in the car, when they question me about it as well! I love my children so much and I would do everything in my power to protect them, but the one thing I cannot protect them from is my problems with Lupus!! I have learned that my children have become more aware about my illness and they will help me with household chores, getting their clothes, fixing mom some juice just to take my medicine, or reminding me that it is time to take my medicine! I love when my daughter grabs me a cold towel to place over my head and my son will scratch my back! These moments I once found depressing, I find uplifting because my children are my angels that protect me and care for me when I am ill!! Aariyah, Rick jr,and Raven ,you are my sunshine and Dad and I are grateful to have you three in our Life!! Mommy may have Lupus, but we will not allow Lupus to get the best of Mommy!
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Yesterday, I went to Walmart with my famly! I Told my husband to make sure that he parks in the Handicap spot because My body was aching! Well, when we got out of the car, My neice asked, " Nanny, Why did you park in the Handicap spot because you are not Handicap". I replied, " Nanny is handicap and I can not move as well as others sometimes". She looked at me with a Smile of Confusion and said, "... But Nanny, you do not look Handicap". I had to make her understand that Handicap is different for everyone and that I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia, and these illness make it very hard for Nanny to Walk, Eat,Cook, Dance, or Write, but that will never stop Nanny from Smiling! She replied, "Ok Nanny but I will help clean up if you need Nanny"! I Just Smiled and told her, "Thank you so much my Love!! My neice did not know how ill I can be, Therefore, I made sure she understood how it may be to walk in my shoes! She held my hand the whole time in Walmart and Smiled! My Family and Faith will always be the Best Support System in My Life! Speak the Truth, Appreciate one another, and Love one another because Tomorrow is never Promised;) Hugs and Kisses my Lupus Warriors and Fibro-Fighters;) God Bless;)
From the moment I awake and until the time I go to bed, I am constantly telling my Beautiful Blessings How much I love them, Appreciate them, and Love the fact that the give me the upmost joy in my life!! I am constantly battling so much Physical pain in my life but that is not the way I want to be remembered by anyone, especially my children! They know I have Lupus and they have experienced me crying, screaming, and the worse; Going in an ambulance, constantly, and fearful that I was not coming home! My children have seen me experienced things that no child should have to see! Sometimes, it is hard to give them a hug because of my pain, but they know that Mommy just needs a kiss on the cheek!! My family takes great care of me and I Am thankful for the Strength and Motivation they have given me! When I am called home, I will not have any regrets because I know that my children will be safe with their Awesome Daddy and wonderful family and friends! I encourage them to Speak, Love, and do what makes them happy! I want to understand being a Leader requires you to follow all things that are righteous and good- Lead by Example! Remember to Put God First! Have A Blessed Week Everyone;)
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AuthorMy name is Wilda Riggs and I am so proud to have published a book about my Life and basically, my Journey, both good and bad with Lupus! I enjoy being a mother to my beautiful blessings and I love Writing,Singing, and Dancing as much as I am able too!! Stay Smiling People! Life is a Beautiful Thing!!!! Archives
October 2017
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